In the ovulatory abundance of summertime,
lets talk about sexual energy.
I was very confused about my sexual energy as a young person.
Here was the extent of my understanding on sexual energy based on societal perceptions, reactions from those around me, media, school teachers & my own conclusions:
Sexual energy is bad only unless it is shared with only one other person whom you are fully committed to and who is fully committed to you (of the opposite sex). You should only explore this romantic intimacy at an age appropriate time, and good luck deciphering when that is. Make sure no one has any clue that you are expressing your sexual energy…especially not your teachers or elders. It should be kept absolutely private. Unless, of course, you’re hoping to attract a mate. All other evidence of your sexuality is ‘bad.’ But interestingly enough, you can use your sexuality to your advantage, like to get the things that you want from the opposite sex…or maybe just a bit of attention. But don’t do that too much because then you will appear to have no morals or character. No one will take you seriously if you express this energy freely, but if you don’t figure out how to flaunt it by your 20’s you’ll be alone.
Whew. Welcome to your teens!
I can sort of laugh now at what I’ve written above.
But it’s a sad laugh, because everything I was told (directly or indirectly) about sexual energy was so…limited.
When I started my womb healing journey, I came across Dr. Uma Dinsmore-Tuli’s book Yoni Shakti: A Women’s Guide to Power and Freedom Through Yoga and Tantra. At the beginning of the book, Uma explains that Yoni means cunt (or whole vulva, vagina, womb, ovary centre, which was the original meaning for cunt before it became derogatory) and Shakti means power.
Our womb center is the source of our power.
Not our power, as in Jaylyn’s power, but our power as in our connection to the energy of life itself. More specifically, the creative energy of life itself: the fertile void from which all manifestation springs.
Our womb is a powerful gateway to accessing this sacred, primordial energy,
And this creative energy is sexual energy.
Understanding this shifted and upgraded my perspective on what sexual energy is and I started developing a new relationship with these inner currents.
I realized I had painted a picture about my very personal relationship to source power through the thoughts and opinions of everyone but myself.
No longer did I wish to dull, distort or disempower this incredible life force energy within me by imprisoning it in shame and impossible expectations. And along the journey of freeing my shakti (which continues) I began to actually feel in my body how this energy can manifest as sexual arousal and intimacy…but more often it manifests as creative inspiration, embodied emotions, deep sensations, desire, personal will & strength and more…
Our sexual energy is quite literally the sweet juice of life. This is an energy that is begging for us to enjoy and delight in it! And when we do, these inner juices sustain us through the drier seasons and periods of our lives, like the inner autumn of our cycle or the autumn of our lifetime (perimenopause).
Our inner well spring of juices can dry if we feel we have to carry very heavy emotional baggage (like shame or trauma) surrounding our precious sexual energy. It can dry up if we have poor blood flow or numbness in our pelvic bowl, or if we are chronically overwhelmed, malnourished or deeply fatigued. Eventually, it will dry naturally, just as a rose’s petals ultimately curl and fall, so too will our yoni shakti.
Amidst the confusion, many of us are prescribed contraceptives to mask our womb-related symptoms. But contraceptives also dry our inner well spring — our natural sustenance — for they work to keep us from getting pregnant by cutting off our connection to these creative juices altogether in the summertime.
But we can reclaim our connection to this source of creative energy within simply by endeavouring to understand it…to be with it…to free our understanding of it as tied to the act of sex alone. And to remember it as our creative power.
Maybe the most important practice we can develop, if we wish to better understand our shakti, is to simply allow ourselves to feel it. Through witnessing and feeling, we begin to embody, and through embodiment we begin to understand….and we understand with our whole self, not just our minds.
But because I can’t help but share some tips that have worked for me to clear up some of the mystery…
Here are some suggestions for nourishing your inner well spring of creative sexual juices:
– Rest well, even in your seasons of abundant energy
– Try not to take life too seriously
– Welcome pleasure in all forms (in the orgasmic sense yes, but also in the sense of simply taking time to care for yourself. Take a luxurious bath or savour some chocolate)
– Eat more fruits and vegetables and eat seasonally. This will elevate your overall health and connect you to the creative juices of the earth herself.
– Allow yourself space to get creative in the ways that inspire you every day, or whenever it calls to you
– Delight in your body’s abilities, needs and desires. Give thanks for her.
– Practice fluid hip and pelvic movements through dance, yoga or intuitive movement
– Seek herbal allies that suit your constitution and nourish your pelvic organs, like maca root or raspberry leaf
– Spend time in bodies of water whenever possible. Imagine yourself in the fertile ocean of the great Mother’s womb…your original birthplace.
– Most importantly, enjoy life.
The best part? Our explorations into our sexual energy do not have to include anyone else. These juices nourish and strengthen us from the inside out and, if we choose, can remain contained to re-feed and re-fuel our own good self.
So Sister, that’s part of my story about my own evolving understanding of sexual energy.
What’s your story?
Love & Gratitude,