Dear Sister,
Does your womb have a grief story?
I write to you from bed, as my womb sheds layers of old identities and past pains to say: there is a dark side to the womb.
Our descent into the womb cave of inner winter (menstruation) can be a dark journey full of mourning and grief.
As we bleed, we become open channels to grieve, process and mourn our own past experiences, the pain of the collective and even ancestral traumas.
This is a powerful opportunity for healing,
For as you dwell in the dark waters of the deep Feminine underbelly,
You hold the power also to release and surrender to this great force in order to be renewed, rebirthed.
This is the dark side of the womb and a very important part of our Feminine initiation. But it isn’t easy, it isn’t pretty, it isn’t comfortable.
On a physical level, menstruation is a mini-birth. The cervical portal between womb and vagina (womb root) expands to release the flow of life blood in the same way it expands to release human life.
It is this expansion that is at the root of your pain, both physical (like cramping) and emotional (like grief). It’s uncomfortable to be expanded.
But you can trust that there is light, joy and peace on the other side of your pain. The great Mother never leaves you alone in the dark.
I want to encourage you, sister, to be so very gentle with yourself as you bleed.
You are a highly-sensitized open channel for the deep Feminine’s healing rivers to run through you.
Remember your power to transmute these dark and heavy energies that arise with the flow of your moon blood. More importantly, remember your capacity to simply be with them,
To choose not to turn away but, instead, to integrate this darkness and welcome yourself Whole again.
You will be broken down many times, but only so that you may be rebirthed anew. This is simply how the Feminine moves…
And when it all becomes a bit too much to bear and I find myself stricken with grief or anxiety, I remember that I can choose to clear these energies from my field. I remember that they are not who I am and, oftentimes, they are not even mine at all. The great Mother will gladly take them from you.
As womb-bearers, we hold a powerful response-ability and a gift.
The Feminine power that resides in our wombs is infinitely intelligent, reminding us that, in order for new life to begin, an old cycle must come to an end.
There is always a death (and therefore grief) in every birth.
You can choose to open these inner doorways to healing, but sometimes they choose you.
This is your reminder that initiation isn’t always love and light.
Spirituality isn’t always love and light.
Healing isn’t always love and light.
You are so much larger than what you are currently carrying,
And when you are ready, you will set it back down on the earth’s naked soils to be recycled, composted, transmuted into something beautiful again.
Your womb is present as a guide to your rebirth.
Trust yourself. Trust your process.
We are healing together, and we are healing with the earth.
All my Love,
Jaylyn